June Gloom? No. BOOM.

How this scary blob will push north only time will tell, immune to the collective fantacizing of Southern Californians.

Summer swell.

Two magic words invested with the power to transform the slumpiest Santa Barbara spot into a spitting little barrel machine.

Two words I've never believed in, given their grunionish rarity in SB.

Well, Adam Wright's surf forecasting website Solspot just grabbed me by the throat, lifted my toes off the ground and told me that it found my lack of faith disturbing.

He's calling for sick southern hemi storms to hold in California's wave window, delivering swell north MAYBE until next Saturday.

Think of malevolent Antarctic seas gagging out sustained 40 foot swells. Think of those swells cleaning up and organizing as they race north through saline. Think of those swells hitting the shallows, heaving up, getting hollow and ... SPAT!

So, basically, this means some CRITICAL knee-high sections at Dev.

Surf Film Review: Dana Brown's 'Highwater'

To understand "Highwater," it's best to have watched Dana Brown's other works, "Step Into Liquid" and "Dust to Glory."

"Step Into Liquid" was a crossover bar-setter that made both surfing and land-lubbing hearts ache. "Dust to Glory" took the super-niched world of Baja off-road racing, applied a new standard to competition event coverage, and found some surprising stories.

"Highwater" is closer to "Dust to Glory" than "Step" in terms of "Holy shit!" movie moments. Which is to say that it's a story well told, but it  doesn't make the quantum leap that defines great pieces.

The movie shines best when the camera goes in tight on the people of the North Shore. So Brown gets something very right with this, unlike most surf films which end up falling back on the lovely, porny aspects of the pursuit. ...

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Spoiler Alert: 'GMac Big Wave Attack'

Garrett McNamara in "GMac Big Wave Attack—The North Canyon"One places one's character in jeopardy by watching apex big-wave surfing.

Do you watch it in order to gape at nature's mutant majesty? Or is it hero worship? (Or hero envy?)

Are you tapping the same vein as wet-palmed NASCAR splatter ghouls? It's possible that you're just keeping track of the box scores for the Billabong XXL Big Wave Contest to find out who will get the $50K check this year.

Spat asked himself those questions while watching "GMac Big Wave Attack—The North Canyon." The film's great lesson: One must watch big-wave porn with aficion, as Hemingway applied the concept to bullfighting. ...

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Another Portugal, Not My Own

Garrett McNamara won the Billabong XXL Big Wave contest with a 78-foot world record breaker at Nazare Canyon in Portugal.

Spat did not.

The Billabong awards show spurs recollections of Spat's own (lack of) surfing accomplishments in Portugal.

We targeted Praia do Amado for my run at Billagong accolades. While conditions made top honors unlikely (a 3' swell with an occasional 6er) I paddled out just for grins...

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Hang 10. Soul Arch. Pig Dog. Dirty Goleta?

Submitted for general disapproval: This video, in which Spat commits a sin against the art of surfing that is so grievous that censors intervened.

Dubbed the Dirty Goleta (derived from the contemporaneous paint job on the Devereaux Grafitti Hut, where the atrocity took place) the offending man-eu-ver proves that kook DNA runs deep ...

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Santa Barbara Surfing ... You *Can* Go Back

Surfing in Santa Barbara means contending with consistently underwhelming waves. The upside? Plenty of time to hone kayak fishing techniques, spear fishing tactics and campfire tending skills.

That's exactly how it played out at Refugio state beach on Spat Out in Glory's latest barrel quest. One with local knowledge might question the choice of destinations: Refugio? AKA Refoofio? AKA the least barreling wave on California's central coast? (Video after the jump.)

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Big Pipe, Critical Ghost Tree, Devereaux ...

Names that echo through surfing: Big Bonzai Pipeline, Critical Ghost Tree, Scary Puerto. And, of course, Knee-Slappin' Devereaux.

Spat out in Glory has had about three false starts getting more footage since the return from Nicaragua's golden surf spots. Finally it came together this week. Time, waves (of a sort), functioning camera equipment. At Devereaux. Where it all started back in '81. (Video after the jump.)

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Super 8 Surf Film: Nicaragua Reconsidered

Surf film-wise, Spat Out in Glory put the cart before the horse in 10,000 ways.

A catalog of these failures: Drafting the Camera Monkey as cinematographer without prior consultation with said monkey. Going to Nicaragua packing a Super 8 camera without having become acquainted with (practically) any of its functionalities. Going to Nicaragua without appropriate film stocks. Etc., etc., etc.

It's fair to ask whether this project can be redeemed. But first, an update ...

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Surf Film Review: 180 Degrees South ... Damn ...

Good surf films inspire self loathing. Regrets regarding a life not chosen. Feelings of athletic inferiority. A sense that grad school was an irredeemable cop out.

(Unless you happen to be a pro surfer who attended the last North Shore Roxy House end-of-season party. Those who fit this description can stop reading here.)

Great surf films do all these things and actually ... wait for it ... tell a STORY. ...

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Santa Barbara Surf: Missed It by *This* Much

Spat Out in Glory is coiled like a spring, ready to shoot film any time a swell hits.

Beaulieu 4008ZM Super 8 gear and film always at hand. Canon HD video cam perpetually primed. GoPro board cam at ready. Boards waxed.

But we aren't in Nicaragua any more, Toto. Now filming sessions are calendared events. As was the case last week. Summer break and the nephews are out of school. Off the grandmother's house we go. South to Santa Barbara. ...

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